Today is the first post in my new series about Core Desired Feelings and how pursuing them is making a difference in my life. The series will last for six weeks and come out every Monday as part of my new editorial calendar: Mondays for Faith and Personal posts, Wednesdays for posts of my design work, and Fridays for education about both business and design.
Desire and Feelings?
I recently went through the book The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte with a group of really awesome and insightful entrepreneurs. When I first decided to go through the book it felt like a big leap - other than my faith, I'm not a big woo-woo person, so the idea of "desire" and "feelings" was a stretch for me. I decided to give it a try anyway. After all, if I started the book and it was way too out there for me or went against my faith, I could always walk away and at least I would know a little more about what other people are reading.
The real message behind this book is that we should be creating our goals and making our decisions based on how we want to feel, not what we think we want to achieve. In many ways, this is similar to the goals vs. intentions post I wrote last year. We should all be working towards things that make us feel good and are in line with the way we want to live instead of doing just for the sake of the accomplishment.
So what are Core Desired Feelings?
Danielle spends a lot of time talking about actually opening ourselves up to our feelings instead of pushing them down. This is such an important point, but it can be hard to implement! Personally, I have always been a very hard worker and I believed that letting myself really dive into my feelings would mean that I was weak or lazy. Instead of feeling sad or angry or even happy, I would just put my nose down and work. Sure, I knew what those feelings were and that I had them, but I never gave myself the freedom to simply sit with those feelings and explore them.
Because of this, I really struggled with the idea of "core desired feelings." These are the feelings that I want to cultivate in my life and therefore I need to find them, acknowledge them, and figure out how to make decisions and goals that will get me those feelings.
For those who you who are also thinking that this is really woo-woo and not very Christian, let me assure you that it can be. Sure, you can go through all of this and come out without exploring faith at all, but I went into this process in prayer and specifically wanting to find God's message. In the end, my core desired feelings, which I'm going to explore in more depth in the weeks to come, all resonate with my faith and are biblically based. I'm pursuing these feelings as I pursue God because the focus isn't on the feelings themselves, but on how God can use these things in my life.
My Core Desired Feelings
Choosing my core desired feelings took me a while. I started with a list of feelings that I liked and narrowed them down over time. Some felt too big or as if they belonged to God and not me (radiant), while others didn't feel authentic to me or my business (dynamic). In the end, I chose five words that fit where I felt God leading me in my life that also aligned with His word: connected, nourished, impassioned, peaceful, and abundant.
I've decided that to start off this journey, I'm going to focus on each of these words for a week (starting today with connected) and see how I can pursue that feeling and what God reveals to me. I'll be sharing my original thoughts on these words, some of the ways I worked these feelings, and some biblical references for each.
Do you have Core Desired Feelings?
I'd love to know if you've gone through this book or if you have a word that guides you throughout the year.